I am going to join the circus

Every little child has at one point of time in his carefree –salary free – slavery free – days wanted to run away from the house and join the circus. It is the most exciting job ever especially when you are surrounded by the clowns and the acrobats and the trapeze artists who sail through the air and thrill the audience with their dare devilry.

In fact, when you are a kid, you think that no job is beyond you and the enthusiasm & perseverance would help you climb even the highest mountain and swim the deepest ocean. A kid can kill a thousand enemies with a simple sword or a hand grenade that would destroy the entire enemy territory ensuring victory without fail.

But then Nature conspires and decides that once you reach a certain age you can no longer pursue your childish games and fantasies with the friends you love the most. You MUST grow to be responsible adult who shoulders the burden of a thousand unimportant worries like getting that pay cheque on time or beating the traffic rush to reach office on time or being part of a presentation by a team that has nothing to do with your job or department or category.

There are more important things in life – like why are the ants so busy all the time or why do mothers start jumping when the see a pet frog in my pocket or jumping into every puddle in the rain and making a splash.

I cannot remember the last time I got wet in the rain because I am so bothered about ruining my mobile phone or money in the pocket. I cannot remember the last time I woke up at the crack of dawn to see the sun rise unless I was being dragged out of bed to catch a flight for a hectic business trip. A business trip that even if it took you to a new city was so boring because all you saw was the conference rooms, boring business associates and the uninspiring hotel room.

The childlike excitement of jumping up and down with delight on accomplishing even a difficult task seems to have vanished. We might be cracking million dollar deals or solving intricate puzzles that require infinite amount of patience and skill on a regular basis, but the thrill of accomplishment seems to diminish with each passing day.

I wonder, where have I lost that child along the way that kept me happy and alive, it seems like the circus is there but the acts have lost their charm. It reminds of a poem that Rabindranath Tagore had written a long time ago which has been given below for the pleasure of your reading.

Playthings

Child, how happy you are sitting in the dust,
Playing with a broken twig all the morning.

I smile at your play with that little bit of a broken twig.

I am busy with my accounts,

adding up figures by the hour.

Perhaps you glance at me and think,
"What a stupid game to spoil your morning with!"

Child, I have forgotten the art of being absorbed in sticks and mud-pies.

I seek out costly playthings, and gather lumps of gold and silver.

With whatever you find you create your glad games,
I spend both my time and my strength

over things I never can obtain.

In my frail canoe I struggle to cross the sea of desire,
and forget that I too am playing a game

And I hope that I discover that child in me once more someday………Amen!