Unfinished Business

There is a lot of baggage I am carrying around. A lot of unfinished business to resolve. I am mentally sick and physically upset (though I know it is supposed to be the other way around). I am looking forward to the future with hope, but am weighed down by the expectations of not only my own, but of those around me.

It seems like I have not been able to clear my head and am spending too much time playing the "What If" game lately.

"What If" ..................

There are feelings of resentment, questions that are yet left unanswered, a fear that haunts me all the time of not being able to fulfill expectations. Yes, the last point is the most scary. But then, am I not being stupid by trying to live up to other people's expectations rather that my own? It seems easy to say that bury the past and let the dead rest in peace, but, i am unable to do so.

The poem below perhaps highlights my feelings currently.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.